Have been feeling lethargic for a whole day. Didn’t send daily reports to my superior for two weeks, and she pointed it out in our company’s group chat, asking what contribution I had been making while ditching the reports. I automatically thought about how others would perceive the message, which in hindsight showed how I toxically trap myself in anonymous other people’s eyes. I really need to fuck this way working of my mind. I shall not let others decide what the world is to me, whether those “others” are actual people or not. It is I that decide what the world means to me, and I need to try hard to get back the position where I have all rights to feel what I feel before anyone else.