Rained all day. As I had a bit of quarrel with my girlfriend the previous night, the room looked a little darker than usual until she woke up and got into the living room. She had been acting like a child, as per usual, and I felt really, really tired. The fatigue lasted until the end of the day. After supper, she complained about the fact that she didn’t have a ticket for an Oasis gig, which she had been doing many times since the last year. I was drained because no matter how many times I told her that it was pure luck that I got one and, though she didn’t get one, it had nothing to do with how she had been trying her best in other aspects of life, her words always circled back to “why didn’t I get it?” and “You looked chuffed when you told me that your dad got a ticket for you (and I found it upsetting)”. I foresaw how our relationship would come to an end. Such conversation always leaves me with an irritation towards her and a sense of wasting my time.

Given the all above, I think that it is deeply insincere I have not been able to sort this situation out and create an environment where I can be true to myself without having to deal with other person’s disrespectful attitude that probably arise from traumatic wounds and using my time for absolutely meaningless hanging-out. She chooses to waste our time because by doing so, she can make sure to a certain extent that I do not consider breaking up with her. I have decided to start drawing a rigid line between us today, and if it leads to the death of our connection (it would never be a peaceful consensus), I should assume the end.